North Korea, Best Korea!
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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