bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
i will never coherently bang her
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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