Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize
