I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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