I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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