I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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