party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
