Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
