I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
