As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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