I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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