I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
