Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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