If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
A+ Viking dick
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