i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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