Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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