**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Everclear isn't food dammit
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
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