i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
