If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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