i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
