I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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