yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
