brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
