Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
