he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
