No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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