remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Even my vagina gasped.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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