i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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