Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
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