i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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