ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
