Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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