you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
