he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
