I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
