Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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