Pappa wants mamma naked
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
