Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
