What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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