I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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