oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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