Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
