This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
