Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
