After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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