he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
