mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I checked into jail on foursquare
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I am naked and annoyed.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
