As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Randomize
