Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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