Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
How external is "for external use only"?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
