gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Randomize
