you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
