A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
