you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize