I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
