Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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