just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Little spoons don't ask big questions
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
