...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
