Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
