Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
