Where did you get a picture of my penis
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
