that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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