you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
