"it" just moved
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
