my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
