Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
