dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
